Scene 1 – Police Headquarters Executive Meeting Room – Day
場景 1 – 警政署高層會議室 – 白天
（會議室裡坐滿督察、組長、署裡高層，氣氛詭異。牆上大螢幕正播放一段夜市直播影片。）
(The room is filled with inspectors, section chiefs, and high-ranking officials; the atmosphere is uneasy. A large screen on the wall shows a night-market livestream.)
⸻#饅頭遊戲
— “Steamed Bun Game” (meme title)
署長（滿臉黑線）
所以…各位告訴我，這是什麼鬼？
Chief (face full of exasperation): So…someone tell me, what the hell is this?
（署長臉色鐵青，指著投影幕，滿屋子警官氣氛肅殺。）
(The chief looks livid, pointing at the projector; the officers in the room are tense.)
⸻
署長
各位！給我看清楚！全台灣都在看我們的笑話！
Chief: Everyone! Look closely! The whole of Taiwan is watching us become a joke!
⸻
（投影幕播放FB直播影片，魏志翔甩尾、噴滅火器，搭配快節奏電音。）
(The projection plays an FB livestream: Wei Zhi-Xiang drifting, spraying a fire extinguisher — backed by fast electronic music.)
【螢幕顯示】
→ 一群被打上馬賽克的「人形蟑螂群」正蹲在地上，身上綁著「檢X官」「高層指揮」字樣。
→ 旁邊一堆青蛙戴法袍，呱呱呱叫，嘴裡吐出字卡：「程序正義」「證據不足」「不受理」。
[On Screen]
→ A group of pixelated “humanoid cockroaches” crouch on the ground, labels on them read “Prosecutor X” and “High-level Command.”
→ Nearby, frogs in judge robes croak loudly, spitting out placards that read: “Procedural Justice,” “Insufficient Evidence,” “Not Accepted.”
（署長指著投影幕吼。）
(The chief yells, pointing at the screen.)
⸻
署長
現在網路上都說──
「全台灣最難抓的犯罪集團就是打馬賽克的蟑螂群，還有會呱呱叫的青蛙群！」
Chief: Now the internet’s saying—
“The most elusive crime syndicate in Taiwan is the pixelated cockroach squad — and the croaking frog clan!”
⸻
督察長（苦笑）
署長，群組裡還在流傳迷因喔。說：
【蟑螂群專門把案子收掉，青蛙群專門說不受理。】
Inspector General (dry smile): Boss, the group chats are spreading memes. They say:
“The cockroach gang specializes in burying cases; the frog gang specializes in saying ‘not accepted.’”
⸻
（署長氣到想砸遙控器。）
(The chief is so angry he looks like he wants to smash the remote.)
⸻
署長
你們到底知不知道，辦到檢察長、議員，是在玩火？！
網路上把檢察官畫成蟑螂、青蛙，已經搞成全民運動了！
Chief: Do you even realize that going after prosecutors and councilors is playing with fire?!
They’ve turned prosecutors into cockroaches and frogs online — it’s become a national pastime!
⸻
場景 2 – 夜市 – 晚上
Scene 2 – Night Market – Night
（魏志翔正打鋼珠機，夜市霓虹燈閃爍。阿成衝過來，興奮到發狂。）
(Wei Zhi-Xiang is at a pachinko machine; neon signs blink. A-Cheng rushes over, wildly excited.)
⸻
阿成
魏哥！我跟你說！最新迷因又出來了！上了抖音熱搜第一名耶！
A-Cheng: Wei bro! Guess what! New meme just dropped! It’s #1 on TikTok trending!
⸻
魏志翔（無奈）
媽的，我是要辦檢察長，不是要參加「台灣達人秀」。
Wei Zhi-Xiang (weary): Goddamn it, I’m trying to go after the prosecutor, not audition for “Taiwan’s Got Talent.”
⸻
（他把手機湊到魏志翔臉前。）
(He thrusts a phone toward Wei’s face.)
⸻
【手機影片】
• 畫面是蟑螂群扛著滿滿公文袋，上面寫「不起訴」。
• 青蛙們坐在審判台上，呱呱呱，一直丟「證據不足」字卡。
• 最後魏志翔的臉從鋼珠機彈出，大喊：
【鋼珠換真相！滅火器燒蟑螂！方向盤碾青蛙！】
[Phone Clip]
• Cockroach squad lugging bulging briefcases labeled “No Prosecution.”
• Frogs on the bench croak, chucking “Insufficient Evidence” cards.
• Finally, Wei’s face pops out of the pachinko, shouting:
“Steel balls for truth! Fire extinguisher burns cockroaches! Steering wheel crushes frogs!”
⸻
魏志翔（嘴角抽搐）
你他媽把我變成打蟑螂英雄是怎樣？！
Wei (twitching): You turned me into some cockroach-smashing hero, what the hell?!
⸻
阿成
全台灣都愛你啊！你已經變成「蟑螂剋星」了！
A-Cheng: Taiwan loves you, man! You’re the “Cockroach Slayer” now!
⸻
（魏志翔嘆口氣。）
(Wei sighs.)
⸻
魏志翔
我辦檢察長就夠危險了。現在還要跟青蛙群跟蟑螂群宣戰？
Wei: Going after the prosecutor is dangerous enough. Now I have to declare war on frog and cockroach mobs too?
場景 3 – 夜市另一頭
Scene 3 – Other Side of the Night Market
（夜市另一側，一群黑衣人看著直播手機。）
(A group of men in black watch the livestream on a phone.)
⸻
黑衣人頭目（冷笑）
署裡那些長官看魏志翔不順眼，我們就送他下台一鞠躬。
Leader (cold laugh): If the bosses at HQ can’t stand Wei, we’ll arrange his exit with a bow.
⸻
（他把手機一丟。畫面正是青蛙群呱呱呱，旁邊還飛著小蟑螂。）
(He tosses the phone. The screen shows croaking frogs with little cockroaches flying around.)
⸻
黑衣人二號
可是全台灣都愛看他耶。搞不好我們一動手，就上迷因熱搜。
Man #2: But everyone loves watching him. If we make a move, we might become meme-trending too.
⸻
黑衣人頭目
那就低調點。把他送去看青蛙。
Leader: Then keep it low key. Send him to meet the frogs.
⸻
（魏志翔穿便服，叼著香腸，狂打鋼珠機。背後夜市霓虹燈閃爍。）
(Wei, in plainclothes with a sausage in his mouth, furiously plays pachinko; neon flickers behind him.)
⸻
魏志翔（自言自語）
全署都想看我出包？最好我直接在鋼珠機前被暗殺，還省得寫報告。
Wei (muttering): The whole HQ wants me to mess up? Better to get assassinated at the pachinko and save myself the paperwork.
⸻
（阿成夜市攤販衝過來。）
(A-Cheng the vendor rushes over.)
⸻
阿成
魏偵查佐！你快管一下啦！那群議員的人又來收「清潔費」！
A-Cheng: Detective Wei! Do something! Those councilor’s people are collecting “cleaning fees” again!
⸻
魏志翔
清潔你大頭啦！我看他們洗錢還差不多。
Wei: Clean your own head! I think they’re laundering money, not cleaning.
⸻
（阿成瞬間掏手機直播。）
(A-Cheng immediately pulls out his phone and goes live.)
⸻
阿成（對著鏡頭）
各位觀眾！最狂的警察魏志翔又出現啦！要不要跟大家說一下，檢察長是不是有在收保護費？
A-Cheng (to camera): Everyone! The craziest cop Wei is back! Do you want to tell folks whether the prosecutor’s taking protection money?
⸻
魏志翔（傻眼）
你手機收好啦！我還想活多幾年好嗎？
Wei (stunned): Put the phone away! I’d like to live a few more years, okay?
⸻
（忽然議員底下的黑衣人走來。）
(Suddenly, the black-clad men linked to the councilor approach.)
⸻
黑衣人
魏仔，清潔費是議員關心地方。你有意見喔？（挑釁）
Black-clad Man: Wei, the cleaning fee is the councilor’s concern. You got a problem with that? (taunting)
⸻
魏志翔
滾！再收一塊錢，我就把你們政治獻金的水單貼到臉書迷因社團！
Wei: Get lost! Charge one more dollar and I’ll post your political donation slips to meme groups on Facebook!
⸻
阿成（更興奮）
各位！獨家喔！魏偵查佐要爆料政治獻金！
A-Cheng (even more hyped): Exclusive! Detective Wei’s about to expose political donations!
⸻
（夜市瞬間混亂。黑衣人動手，魏志翔直接抓起鋼珠機裡的鋼珠，彈射黑衣人眉心。）
(The night market erupts. A black-clad man strikes — Wei grabs a pachinko ball and fires it at a man’s brow.)
⸻
黑衣人
哎唷靠！
Black-clad Man: Ow, damn!
⸻
（阿成持續直播，留言狂刷。）
(A-Cheng keeps streaming; comments flood in.)
觀眾留言串:
【魏志翔超帥2025！】
【鋼珠無限彈！】
【我要嫁給他！】
【收保護費不如收鋼珠！】
Chat Comments:
“Wei Zhi-Xiang is so hot 2025!”
“Endless pachinko ammo!”
“I’ll marry him!”
“Collecting pachinko balls beats collecting protection money!”
⸻
（魏志翔氣喘吁吁，忽然發現身旁停了一台黑頭車，車窗緩緩搖下，一個戴墨鏡的人低聲說：）
(Wei, breathing hard, notices a black car pull up. The window rolls down; a man in sunglasses speaks in a low voice:)
⸻
墨鏡男
魏偵查佐，上車。署裡叫你回去。立刻。
Sunglasses Man: Detective Wei, get in. HQ’s calling you back. Now.
場景 4 – 高速公路追逐
Scene 4 – Highway Chase
（魏志翔甩尾狂飆。後面三台黑頭車追上來，車窗降下，槍管探出。）
(Wei drifts and speeds. Three black cars close in; windows drop and gun barrels poke out.)
⸻
黑衣人（吼）
交出光碟！不然你就去陪那些呱呱叫的青蛙！
Black-clad Man (shouting): Hand over the disc! Or go join those croaking frogs!
⸻
魏志翔（嘲笑）
你們要不要先想想，自己會不會也被畫成蟑螂群啊？
Wei (mocking): Maybe consider whether you’ll end up drawn as cockroaches yourselves?
⸻
（魏志翔甩尾，再次噴滅火器，白煙瀰漫。）
(Wei drifts, sprays the fire extinguisher again; white smoke billows.)
魏志翔（怒吼）
媽的！蟑螂群不死，真相怎麼出頭！
Wei (yelling): Damn it! If the cockroach mob lives, how will the truth ever see the light?!
魏志翔
現在是怎樣？（瞪著墨鏡男）你們署裡想暗殺我還是保護我？
Wei: So what now? (stares at the sunglasses man) Does HQ want to assassinate me or protect me?
墨鏡男（淡淡）
保護你。（頓一下）至少表面上。
Sunglasses Man (dry): Protect you. (beat) At least on the surface.
（後方黑車窗戶降下，伸出槍。）
(Windows in the pursuing cars drop; guns extend.)
黑衣人（狂吼）
交出光碟！否則大家都得死！
Black-clad Man (furious): Hand over the disc! Or everyone dies!
魏志翔
幹，連光碟都要人命？
Wei: Jesus, even a disc costs lives?
（黑車開槍，子彈打中車尾燈。）
(A black car fires; a bullet shatters the taillight.)
魏志翔（怒吼）
靠夭！我剛換的保險桿耶！
Wei (shouting): Dammit! I just changed that bumper!
（魏志翔一把奪過方向盤，把車橫甩。）
(Wei jerks the wheel and fishtails the car.)
墨鏡男
你想幹嘛？！
Sunglasses Man: What are you doing?!
魏志翔
老子要讓他們知道，鋼珠可以追真相，方向盤也可以！
Wei: I’ll make them see — pachinko balls chase truth, and so can a steering wheel!
（車子180度甩尾，直接倒車狂飆，迎著黑車開槍。）
(The car does a 180 and races in reverse straight toward the black cars firing at them.)
（墨鏡男一臉崩潰。）
(The sunglasses man is horrified.)
墨鏡男
你他媽到底是偵查佐還是速可達車神？！
Sunglasses Man: Are you a detective or some scooter stunt god?!
（魏志翔拿起副駕駛座的滅火器，猛朝後噴射，白煙瀰漫黑車車窗。）
(Wei grabs the passenger-side fire extinguisher and sprays it rearward; smoke fills the black cars’ windows.)
——-
（黑車失控撞護欄。）
(The black cars lose control and smash the guardrail.)
魏志翔
啊不就滅火器全能？
Wei: See? Fire extinguishers do it all!
（墨鏡男喘著氣。）
(The sunglasses man pants.)
墨鏡男
署裡有人放話了…（頓一頓）說如果你再搞事，就弄掉你。
Sunglasses Man: HQ’s been talking… (beat) They said if you keep causing trouble, they’ll take you out.
魏志翔（深呼吸，露出笑容）
那我就更要搞。要死，也要死在直播裡。
Wei (deep breath, smirks): Then I’ll cause even more. If I’m going to die, I’ll die on livestream.
真實故事改編社會劇本 
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